Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. ~Johnny Carson
A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. ~George D. Prentice
Every tooth in a man’s head is more valuable than a diamond. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605
If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas. ~Mason Cooley
You don’t have to brush your teeth – just the ones you want to keep. ~Author Unknown
Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.
~Ogden Nash
Too many of today’s children have straight teeth and crooked morals. ~Unknown high school principal
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. ~George Bernard Shaw
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. ~Ambrose Bierce
I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. ~Martin H. Fischer
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently.
~William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. ~Joseph Heller
Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. ~William R. Alger
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. ~Martin H. Fischer
An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain.
~Richard Baxter, Poetical Fragments
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. ~Helen Rowland
There are two things in life that a sage must preserve at every sacrifice, the coats of his stomach and the enamel of his teeth. Some evils admit of consolations, but there are no comforters for dyspepsia and the toothache. ~Henry Lytton Bulwer
You know, sometimes a man just can’t satisfy all of a woman’s desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. ~Author Unknown
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. ~Mark Twain
The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. ~Thomas Fuller
Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. ~George D. Prentice
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It’s the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. ~Graham Greene
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? ~Paul Merton
Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. ~Claudia Wallis
How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? ~Dan Burton
The best and cheapest dentistry is when the right thing is done extremely well the first time and it lasts.
For people on social assistance, the loss of free dental care, prescription drugs and subsidized housing can greatly outweigh additional income from working. We’ve all heard the stories. ~Kim Campbell
I don’t get off on romantic parts. But I often think if I had had my dental work done early on, well, maybe. ~Morgan Freeman
Most of my friends from college became dental hygienists or went into retail, a lot went into sales. They all started getting married and having kids and buying homes and I was still living like a college student. ~Patricia Heaton
I’ve been giving free money seminars for the troops at Walter Reed Hospital and one of the Iraqi War Vets realized that the military wouldn’t pay for the dental work he needed. ~Matthew Lesko
Most every dental school has discount dental services. ~Matthew Lesko
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? ~Paul Merton
I could have been a dental hygienist with nothing bad ever appearing in print about me, but that’s not how I’ve chosen to lead my life. I knew that you put yourself under a microscope the more famous you become. ~Julia Roberts
Millions of Americans, adults and children, lack access to dental care. Michael K. Simpson
I always wanted to be a dentist from the time I was in high school, and I was accepted to dental school in the spring of 1972. I was planning to go, but after the Olympics there were other opportunities. ~Mark Spitz
“A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them”
“We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.”
“If Alien was my friend, I’d like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he’d probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!”
“Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.”
“So I went to the dentist. He said “Say Aaah.” I said “Why?” He said “My dog’s died.’”
“The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist’s drill."
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